Last updated on January 30th, 2025 at 09:01 am
by Amy Dailey, MS, NBC-HWC, LMC
Director of Health Sciences & IHI
The holidays are a time when memories, emotions, and expectations intertwine, often in unexpected ways. While some moments may sparkle with joy, others might bring a sense of loneliness or the weight of imperfection. For many, this season is also a time of reflection—a chance to consider where we stand, what we value, and how we connect with the world around us.
At the heart of belonging is a simple truth: you are enough, exactly as you are. Belonging isn’t about meeting expectations or fitting into a mold—it’s about creating spaces, both within and around you, where you feel seen, valued, and at peace. This season, you can honor yourself and others by leaning into what truly matters: compassion, connection, and community.
Releasing the Pressure of Perfection
The quest for a “perfect holiday” often creates more stress than joy. Whether it’s preparing elaborate meals, finding the perfect gifts, or reliving cherished traditions, striving for perfection can feel like an impossible standard. Research on perfectionism reminds us that this pursuit can isolate us rather than bring us closer to what we value most.
This year, give yourself permission to embrace imperfection. Let the holidays be a time of presence, not performance. Focus on what feels meaningful—whether that’s time with loved ones, quiet reflection, or the simple beauty of the season.
Grounding in Gratitude
Gratitude and self-compassion are like two sides of the same coin, offering a gentle way to reconnect with ourselves and the world around us. Self-compassion invites us to approach our imperfections with kindness, while gratitude shifts our focus to the small joys that brighten our days-a warm cup of coffee, the comfort of a hot shower, or a cozy bed to sleep in. Together, they create a sense of abundance that helps us feel grounded, even in challenging times.
Gratitude reminds us that there is beauty in the simple, everyday moments, and self-compassion allows us to embrace them without judgment. These practices cultivate not only emotional well-being but also a deeper sense of belonging, reminding us that we are enough, just as we are.
Fostering Belonging
Belonging begins with self-compassion. Studies by Kristin Neff show that treating yourself with kindness can strengthen resilience and foster emotional well-being1. When you approach yourself with grace, you create space for authentic connection with others.
Self-Determination Theory highlights the importance of autonomy, competence, and relatedness in creating a sense of belonging. Whether you’re a student navigating new challenges or someone reflecting on life’s transitions, nurturing these needs can help you thrive. Belonging isn’t about perfection; it’s about feeling connected—to yourself, to others, and to the world.
Practical Tips for the Holidays
- Gratitude Practice
Reflect on the people, places, and moments that bring you joy. Writing them down in a gratitude journal can shift your perspective and help you focus on the positive. - Celebrate Your Journey
Create a ritual to honor your growth, like writing a list of what you’ve accomplished this year. This simple act can affirm your worth and remind you of your resilience. - Build Small Connections
Share a meal, send a heartfelt message, or connect virtually with someone you care about. These micro-moments of connection can nurture relationships and ease loneliness. - Embrace What Matters Most
Release the need for everything to go perfectly. Focus instead on creating meaningful moments, whether they’re simple traditions or spontaneous laughter.
Leaning Into Community
For students, the university environment can provide a powerful sense of belonging. At Salem University, students have access to a variety of resources to help them feel connected and supported. From student services and athletic programs to free health and wellness coaching, the community is here to ensure that no one has to navigate the season—or life—alone.
Leaning into these resources can make a significant difference. For those considering becoming part of the Salem University community, this supportive environment is one of the many reasons why students feel at home here.
This holiday season, remember: belonging isn’t something you have to earn—it’s something you create by embracing yourself and those around you. Through self-compassion, connection, and community, you can make this a season filled with meaning, joy, and peace.
